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The Fractured: Maggie (Fractured #2) (Blemished Series) Page 3
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“Y-you’re really fi-fitting in here,” he said. “To get the c-coveted in-invite so early on.”
“Yeah, I guess.”
“E-earl Grey? Or b-break––”
“Earl Grey,” Maggie snapped.
Derek smiled, his head hung low. He walked around from his desk and over to the little kitchen area at the end of their office. It had a sink, draining board, microwave, kettle and some small space to make sandwiches and so on. Under the counter was a fridge, just big enough for cold drinks and lunch items. He took two mugs from the overhead cupboards, and two teabags from the tin, and poured out the tea. His movements were so measured it drove Maggie nuts. He treated everything the same way he did in the lab – slowly and systematically. If he wanted to peel a banana he’d do it one strip at a time, watching intently to check that all the peel came away from the banana. Then he’d log his results and different methods.
Maggie closed her eyes, feeling like she was going to snap again. When she opened them she realised Derek had chosen her favourite mug with a picture of Einstein on the front, sticking out his tongue. It never failed to cheer her up, even just a tiny bit.
“Thanks, Derek.”
He buried his head in his notebook after giving a little nod. She felt bad. He might’ve been annoying sometimes, but he was also sensitive and thoughtful. It wasn’t fair to him to keep snapping, and it wouldn’t stop until she saw Ethan. She had to see him and find out what was going on.
“Do you mind if I step out for ten minutes?” Maggie asked.
“Sure,” he said. His face lit up, like it always did when he said something without stuttering.
“Thanks, Derek.” Maggie paused by Derek’s desk and placed a hand on his shoulder. His cheeks turned red and she left the office.
Her heart pounded as she turned right down the corridor towards the incubation lab, one of the many in the Country. According to Ethan some of the labs were the size of football pitches, harvesting thousands of perfect clone children.
Maggie remembered how it was before the GEM, with children born into families who didn’t want them. Society regulated alcohol, drugs and crime, but they never restricted procreation, and that just led to poor children in horrible situations – children who weren’t wanted or treated well.
Derek’s health and safety rules prevented her from walking into the lab, but she could tap on the glass viewing window from outside the corridor. Ethan injected Amniotic fluid into one of the artificial wombs, the cocoon nurturing the life inside.
Ethan turned around and she met his eyes. Maggie couldn’t be sure, he was quite far away, but it seemed as though he was frowning. He set down his needle and strode towards the door of the lab. Once in the corridor he avoided eye contact and kept his distance, leaning against the wall and examining his finger nails.
“Hi Maggie, what’s up?” he said. His words remained friendly but his tone lacked warmth.
“I just wanted to stop by and say hi,” Maggie replied. “I didn’t hear from you all weekend, so I just wanted to check we’re cool.”
“Yeah, everything’s fine. I’m just working, so—”
“Did you lose my number? I left it on the note,” Maggie blurted out. She pulled on the sleeves of her jumper.
“What? Oh, no. I just didn’t… I mean, I meant to text you but… you know. I really have to get back to work.”
“But everything’s okay between us?”
He flashed her one of his smiles. “Of course it is.”
“And you want to go out again?”
His smile faded. “What are you? A stalker? Look, I’m in the middle of my job, Maggie. We had a fun time on Friday, but that’s it. It was just a bit of fun. Look, I’m sorry – I’m just not looking for a relationship right now. I thought you knew that. I really have to get back to the lab. But I’ll see you around, okay?”
Maggie nodded and watched him turn around and walk back into the incubator lab. Her back stiffened and the blood had drained from her face. After he was gone she turned and ran to the toilet, where she sobbed into a handful of toilet paper.
Chapter Five
“Women will never be pregnant again, Mags. It’s complete liberation. We’re making women equal to men. Don’t you think that’s amazing?” said Maggie’s dad.
They sat in the courtyard of a café enjoying a light salad lunch. The sun warmed Maggie’s skin and there wasn’t a cloud in the sky. But she felt strange and claustrophobic. Everywhere she looked people stared at her; people in the café; people walking by, going about their business. She hid behind her sunglasses, and tried to avoid the bright sun. As her father talked she ignored a growing headache and the way her stomach churned.
“I dunno, Dad. Why not just let women choose if they want to be pregnant or not. This feels… totalitarian.”
“And in a few decades we will.” He sipped on a beer. “People are afraid of change, but only for a short while. If you give people the option of staying the same or making a radical change, no matter how amazing that change might make the world, some people will just always want to stay the same. If you make them change, they adapt – they get used to it. We’re providing the world a kindness by forcing them into it. Future generations will look back on our service and honour us.” He took a bit of his chicken and stared out at the passers-by. “Honestly, Maggie, this is the best way.”
“So what is the GEM going to do? How are they going to stop people from breeding?” Maggie picked at her untouched food but her dad didn’t notice. She didn’t look at her father, she didn’t like the way he kept staring out into the distance, distracted by his new sense of self-worth. Something had changed in her dad; he talked of nothing but the Ministry and their latest project. Every word echoed propaganda. Every smile showed careful and thoughtful placement – designed to be warm and inviting. He’d been on television, delivering the message to the masses, spinning the tone and avoiding the facts.
He fidgeted in his seat. “It sounds worse than it is. Well, the thing is… for most women, the ones who go through the GEM for their children anyway, things won’t be a problem. We’ve developed a fail-safe pill. Men take it too. It’s so much better than current contraception. It still works if you’re ill or on antibiotics. It reduces sperm count in men and adjusts hormones in women. It’s the perfect pill – there aren’t any side effects or anything.”
“But people have to want to take it,” Maggie pointed out. “What if they won’t?”
“Most will,” said her dad. “But you’re right. There are the others. The Blemished.”
Maggie cringed at the term. When did it become the norm to call them that? It made everything so much more real. She didn’t want to be part of that side of things. She didn’t want to think of them banished from London. She wanted to work on creating life, making a positive contribution to the world whilst ignoring all the other stuff the GEM did.
“What would happen to the Blemished?” she asked. She didn’t want to, but she did.
“We’re not sure yet. We’re developing a procedure. It would be swift and pain free. They would be infertile afterwards.”
“Reversible?” Maggie asked.
Her dad looked at her with very level eyes. There was a hint of regret, maybe pain, in the creased wrinkles. But then, it could have been the sun. “No.”
*
Five hours later Maggie stalked up and down her bathroom. She held her head in her hands. This couldn’t happen. Not now. Not ever. What was she going to do? She raked her fingers through her hair and looked down.
An offensive plastic stick rested on the edge of the bath. In a small oval window the word pregnant was digitally written in blue. She knocked the stick away and collapsed to her knees. How could she be so stupid? She was pregnant and Ethan Moore was the father. Ethan Moore, the guy she’d been besotted with until he used her and tossed her aside like a tissue. Now he was seeing Cathy, the work experience girl, kissing in the corridors of the GEM. Rubbing her nose in it
. How could he be the father of her baby? He was a pig.
And then the full weight of the problem dawned on her. She was having a baby in a world where babies couldn’t exist anymore – not like this, anyway. Babies were grown in cocoons and nurtured in controlled scientific environments. Mothers didn’t exist. There was no child birth or pregnancy. What would she tell her dad? What was she going to do? The questions flooded her mind until she couldn’t cope. She wondered if she would ever cope again.
*
She stopped going to work. She phoned in sick and moped around her apartment, eating tiny portions of food and yet still finding something to vomit. The baby hated her and wanted to punish her. It didn’t want to arrive in a world like this. It didn’t want to be born. Did she want it to be born? She didn’t know, but she spent a great deal of her time wishing the thing had never existed.
On the third day Maggie asked Derek not to tell her dad that she was off sick. She answered important work emails from her laptop. Derek agreed to get a temp to help out in the lab until she was better. He asked her over and over what was wrong but Maggie refused to tell him. Once, she broke down in tears. He asked her if it was Ethan and Maggie hung up.
Deep down inside she wanted to tell someone, and the only person she could tell was Ethan. She didn’t hold out any hope that telling him would solve the problem, in fact she had a feeling it would make it worse, but at least she would have someone to share the problem with. At least she could spill her guts to someone. But the thought of telling him also made her skin go cold with terror. Was she brave enough to do that?
On the fifth day she called the Ministry and spoke to the reception.
“I’d like to speak to Dr Ethan Moore,” she said, her voice trembling. “It’s urgent. It’s Dr Maggie Powell. I’m calling from home and don’t have his direct line.”
“Of course, Dr Powell. I’ll put you through. One moment please.”
Part of Maggie prayed for it to go to voicemail. She hoped for the receptionist to come back and tell her he was unavailable. But she knew that if she didn’t reach Ethan right now, she would never get the courage to call him again. This was her one chance to tell him, to share the burden.
The phone clicked off pause. “Hello, this is Ethan.”
Maggie froze.
“Hello? Maggie?”
Maggie somehow managed to move her jaw. “Hi, Ethan.”
“You all right? You sound weird. Amy said it was urgent.”
Of course he would know the name of the receptionist. He’d probably got her drunk in the Queen’s Head as well.
“What is it?” Ethan sighed. “I have to get back to the lab.”
“I’m pregnant.”
Maggie heard nothing but heavy breathing for a few seconds and then a slam as though Ethan had just punched his desk. “You’re WHAT? What the hell… Maggie? I can’t believe this.”
“I’m sorry, Ethan, I’ve taken loads of tests––”
“Is it even mine? You could have been with tons of guys for all I know. We only did it once––”
“Well, funnily enough, once is all it takes,” Maggie snapped.
“I’m not buying this,” he said. His voice was cold. “You’ve been out to snare me from the beginning. You stalker bitch! You’ve done this on purpose.”
“No!” Maggie exclaimed. “I have not done this on purpose––”
“Well, you listen to me, Maggie,” he said her name as though it was a threat, “you’re going to do exactly what I tell you. You’re going to get some money, and I know you have money — I know who your dad is –– then you’re going to go down to the last family planning place in London and you’re going to get rid of that brat inside you. Do you hear me?”
Maggie hung up.
The phone rang. She didn’t want to answer it in case it was Ethan, calling back to yell at her again. But it just wouldn’t shut up. She took the receiver and placed it to her ear.
“Hello?”
“M-maggie.”
It was Derek, and for the first time in her life, Maggie was glad to hear his voice; soothing, boring, reliable Derek. He wouldn’t yell at her or make her feel bad.
“Hi, Derek. What do you want?”
“Amy patched me into th-the call. B-by accident.”
The blood drained from Maggie’s face. “How much did you hear?”
“Everything.”
Maggie started to weep, making a high-pitched whining noise down the phone. She hated herself in that moment. She hated what she had become, it was so far from the independent woman she wanted to be.
“Don’t tell anyone. Derek, you can’t tell anyone.”
“I know,” he said. He took deep breaths between words to steady his stutter. “M-maggie, I w-want to help you. I w-will help you.”
Chapter Six
Derek poured Earl Grey into the chipped mugs from Maggie’s cabinet. He carried them over to the small pine table nestled into the corner of her flat. Maggie sat on the edge of the chair, her arms wrapped around her body, which was little more than bones and skin after losing a lot of weight from the morning sickness. She twisted a greasy curl through her fingers.
“Thanks,” she said, as Derek passed her the tea. Her eyes stared out to nothing. Her voice had a hollow quality to it, as though her brain was functioning enough for pleasantries, but her mind was elsewhere.
Derek took the chair opposite. “You’ve n-not been looking after y-yourself. You’re s-supposed to gain weight when you’re p-pregnant.”
“What’s the point?” she said. “I’ll only have to get rid of it anyway.”
“I-is that w-what you want?”
She pulled on her hair. “I don’t know. Sometimes I want nothing more than to get rid of it. But then I think about the happy ending. I always wanted to be a mum, even when I was little.” She let the words come, finally able to voice them. “I always wanted to have children and be married. After I became an important scientist of course – career first. My dad taught me that. But I didn’t want it to happen like this, and now I think the best thing would be to just have a termination and then go back to my normal life.”
“Y-you don’t know that. Th-there c-could be a way. T-to have the happy en-ending.” His stuttering worsened when Derek was nervous. Maggie knew he was nervous now. It didn’t annoy her anymore.
“I don’t know, Derek. I’m the daughter of one of the founders of the Genetic Enhancement Ministry, the same organisation who are planning to sterilise all women with bad genes – and I’m pregnant. What other options do I have? Do you think my dad will stand by me when I’m the purest example of what he wants to eradicate in this world? What am I going to do?” Maggie’s eyes pleaded. They were desperate.
Derek leaned over and touched her hand. “Th-the first thing you’re g-going to do is d-drink your tea. We’re g-going to make you b-better. Then we’ll think about ev-ever-everything else. Okay?”
Maggie picked up her tea.
*
For three weeks Derek stopped by Maggie’s flat and watched her eat her meals. He tidied, cleaned, and washed her things. He checked her progress, and even took blood work to the lab. She needed a scan, but apart from that she was healthy and definitely pregnant. As this went on Maggie put on a little weight. There wasn’t a bump but she noticed a thickening around her waist. She still felt panicked whenever she thought about her future, but there was also a sense of calm, usually when Derek helped her at the flat.
But the sense of calm soon disappeared. Derek couldn’t keep covering for Maggie at work and it wasn’t long before her father found out she hadn’t been in work for weeks. When he arrived at her flat expecting answers, Maggie knew there was no point lying to him. He knew her too well. He knew which buttons to press to make her talk.
After Maggie told him about the pregnancy, her dad sat rigid at the table. He didn’t speak for what felt like hours. He didn’t move at all. He just stared into space.
“Daddy, say something,
” she pleaded. “Please. Please talk to me. I need you right now.”
“Tell me again who the father is,” he said.
“Ethan Moore, this guy in the Incubator lab.”
He shook his head. “What have you done, Margaret? You stupid, stupid girl.” His voice rose and he slammed his fist down onto the table, knocking his mug of tea to the ground. The mug splintered into pieces. Neither of them moved to clear away the mess. “Ethan Moore isn’t just some lab worker. He runs the incubator lab and is set to take a position on the board in five years. He’s not just some guy you screwed – he’s the son of the most powerful board member in the GEM. In years to come he’ll be running the Ministry while we all lick his boots. Do you see what you’ve done?”
Maggie stared at her dad. She tried to form words, but her throat closed around them. “I… I’m sorry, Daddy.”
“It’s too late for sorry.” He sighed and put his head into his hands. After a brief pause his head snapped up as though he’d just had a brilliant idea. “No. It’s not too late. Have you had a scan? How far along are you?” He stared at her belly and Maggie folded her arms around herself. “Ten weeks? If that?”
“Something like that,” she answered. “I’m not far along.”
“Then you can have a termination. It won’t even hurt. I know a place you can go, I’ll pay for it.” He leaned forward and took her hands.
Three weeks ago Maggie was contemplating the same thing. In fact, she still thought about it every day, imagining getting back to her life at the Ministry, working with Derek again. But it was the way he said it – like she didn’t have a choice. She resented it. And it spurred her against him.
“It’s not about money, Dad.” She pulled her hands out of his. “I can’t just make this decision so easily. I have to think about what I want. And maybe I want to have this baby.”
“No,” he said. “You can’t. You can’t do this to the GEM. Not now.” His grey eyes glistened with new hope.